In our third installment of made up news, we discover the adventures of the recently-departed defender Richard Naylor in his time at Portman Road.
Bam Bam, as many locals like to call him, was not only a dedicated player in his time at Ipswich but he was also used in a slave-like manner to wait hand and foot for the Ipswich Town staff. He revealed: ‘I feel I have given Ipswich decent service over the years and now I’m looking forward to my time at Leeds.’
Perhaps it was a method of bribing the gaffer into putting Naylor down as the first name on the team-sheet.
Naylor`s efforts were not lost on boss Jim Magilton though, clearly showing his appreciation for Ipswich’s former longest serving player: ‘Bam Bam has been a wonderful servant for Ipswich Town.”
Will the role as club slave be taken up at Elland Road with new club Leeds United? Only time will tell…
Elsewhere, Town physio Matt Byard revealed this week how the introduction of new sports at the club have suited the injured Iván Campo extremely well.
Byard said: ‘Iván is doing well and is now deep water running, cycling and swimming.”
Don’t rule out a change of career for the Spaniard. We may soon be seeing Campo in his national colours for the deep water cycling team, let`s hope the bikes don`t rust.
Manager Jim Magilton has become so fed up with the lack of digestive biscuits at the club this week, that he felt the need to tell the press that there were none left by the time the tin came round to him: “There were another two in the box that might have been but they would have been soft.”
Judging by the picture, Maybe a year`s supply of Jaffa Cakes are needed instead of that chewing gum that Jim appears to have resorted to, judging by the picture at the top.
Meanwhile, Plymouth gaffer Paul Sturrock hinted that Ipswich may have another Chuck Norris on the books, the REAL Chuck Norris, the man who can kill another with his little finger.
He said: “I’m sure there will come a time when you see the real Chuck.”
That`s it for made up news this week. I`d like to remind you that made up news is 100% made up – Naylor is not and has never been a slave for ITFC… well… by our knowledge anyway!
